Carrie, what an amazing, moving, heartbreaking and tragic post. I’m not a mother so I am not able to fully understand your pain and loss, but I am unmedicated bipolar and I’ve been hospitalized twice following suicide attempts, and constantly struggle with depression and suicidal thoughts. When I’m still able to rationalize I’m able to realize that taking my life would utterly devastate my parents, sister, and family, and it prevents me from taking that step. Sadly, there are times when I lose that rationality and it’s then that I will completely isolate myself and believe they would be better off without me causing them constant worry and drama. You obviously already know that you did everything in your power to help your son, and he clearly knew and understood how much he was loved by you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing your story and for helping other parents/friends/ family members, and people struggling with the same issue. Your bravery and kindness are glaringly evident, and I just want to send you all of my love.❤️